I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.
		-- George Carlin
%
We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
		-- George Carlin
%
Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals?
		-- George Carlin
%
The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you.
		-- George Carlin
%
It's called the American Dream, 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it.
		-- George Carlin
%
Rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. They're privileges. That's all we've ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges.
		-- George Carlin
%
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
		-- George Carlin
%
I don't vote, because I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain.
 		-- George Carlin
%
Everyone complains about politicians. Everyone says they suck. But where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky; they don't pass through a membrane from a separate reality. They come from American homes, American families, American schools, American churches, and American businesses. And they're elected by American voters. This is what our system produces, folks. This is the best we can do.
 		-- George Carlin
%
